the best of the worst week ever

i'm trying to get over being sick. i can feel my head burning and my fever rising and falling. it sucks. the whole week since christmas i've been feeling lowsy. i'm sitting in my room alone, in an empty house. yet again on this day. i'm by myself. it really has become my tradition. i can see a lot of truths in my life. my family is so isolated from each other especially me it wouldn't matter what happens to them to change my plans. from my moms complaining to help the family to not go forward with my own(not to mention establish a life)to my dads lack of caring, to my brothers lack of any thing.
its really all me. i could say i hate being home. i could complain i have no friends again, i have no help in my life besides sunday afternoons. cause your relationship with heavenly father is a one on one. and with all the time to talk and converse with my heavenly father. now i feel better. even if i can't breathe