Elbo

one of my families i home teach. these are the boys Nate Jace and Drew






some how i always end up cleaning the fish. i'm so tired i could ride a horse

it comes in 3's

number 1
no one will cover my shift Saturday. most owe me a day too. i work all the time and cover a lot of their shifts. it all would of been OK if someone would of told me they needed me for Saturday to take the young men camping.
number 2
Steve called me a negative person. which is the most retarded thing ever to say, how many times have i gone and done something for him to save his butt from getting in trouble. especially after we had just finished joking and laughing about all the things we've done together the past 3 years. not to mention how i was letting him in on going camping with me in a few weeks. then he gets upset cause i tell him that some email he gets is a scam. 4 vacations for only 99 dollars. yeah right! it almost cost me that much to take someone to dinner and movie here minus about 30 dollars. then he wanted to fight me and called me a pussy for not doing it?
number 3
i have chaser duty again. i get the privilege of escorting a felon to jail. oh joy!

i challenge anyone to read through this thing and find where i'm depressed negative or sad only. its not happening. i'd be a total hypocrite though cause this is pretty negative but this is funny


and this is amazingly beautiful. and is a full movie 'screaming masterpiece'. it covers 1000 years if iclandic music and it beyond amazing actually.



this is very promising too for all the love and caring i have for everyone
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 7:21)

i found flipper

oh whatever

Let go of my heart

I can't wait forever is all that you said
Before you stood up
And you won't disappoint me
I can do that myself
But I'm glad that you've come
Now if you don't mind

Leave, leave,
And free yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
I don't understand, you've already gone

i'm so thirsty

i spend a lot of money on water. i always feel like I'm gonna dry out. i can knock out a 20 fl oz bottle of water in two gulps. easy.
i have been so frustrated the past 3 days. all i wanted was to be somewhere at peace. the past 4 days my roommate has been watching the sopranos. its one thing to watch it on A&E. its another to be watching it on DVD unedited full porn thing. I'm just reminded of all the short comings i have. all the wonderful opportunities that I've missed. its hard enough to deal with these tiny terrible things on a daily basis, with the friends i have who do all the things i use to do and haunt me in terrible ways. all the things I've worked for have been forever away in the environment i am in. no one has helped me since I've gotten here. I've been on my own. I've tried so hard to remain a worthy priesthood holder. minus a few moments I've done so well. and after having a great few weeks i found myself trapped. trapped like i was a few years ago. all the things i want and have given up so much for. for all the struggles I've had, I'm still doing what i can. I've gone through these times with only heavenly beings and spirits helping me. if i can do this when won't i be blessed? what can't i do? i pray with every being in my heart tonight that these things and my faith will be like a stone and be pure.

and when i had no hope i read this

D&C
54 They are they who are the church of the Firstborn.
55 They are they into whose hands the Father has given all things—
56 They are they who are priests and kings, who have received of his fullness, and of his glory;
57 And are priests of the Most High, after the order of Melchizedek, which was after the order of Enoch, which was after the order of the Only Begotten Son.
58 Wherefore, as it is written, they are gods, even the sons of God—
59 Wherefore, all things are theirs, whether life or death, or things present, or things to come, all are theirs and they are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.
60 And they shall overcome all things.
61 Wherefore, let no man glory in man, but rather let him glory in God, who shall subdue all enemies under his feet.
62 These shall dwell in the presence of God and his Christ forever and ever.

had another dream about kids. protecting them. even it was from (yellow slobber zombies)

plausible names for my kids

Tyler Harlene
James Bonham
Victoria Rose
Clara Vashti
Julian Tristan

and i cried Góðan daginn

i had a dream a year ago that i think about all the time. it was a series of dreams actually. i can never say what they actually mean or where or how my thoughts were created. all were short but very intricate.
the first happened over a year ago. i sat in a dark room at a desk with only a single light in the room. the light sat above a wooden desk and it operated as a spotlight. i sat in a matching wooden chair, slouched over with my elbows on the desk. my head down, as id i was praying. i was waiting for someone. as i waited for was probably tenths of a second in real time but lasted forever in a dreaming state. a woman entered the doorway. my thoughts told me it was my wife as she loomed at the door. she was silhouetted by another light that was in the hall way. i was waiting for her to bring me my scriptures. as you can tell the style of the dreams i have are not fluent at all. for they happen off thoughts layered upon thoughts upon thoughts. as i reached out to grab the quad combinations of scriptures. they were not only open but my baby son was on top of them. as she passed both my son and the scriptures to me i cried. i set down the large scriptures that supported a baby on the desk. and that's all i can remember. for the first time ever i woke up in tears.
the next dream i was in some mountain range in my truck driving down a dirt road towards this mountain face. the sun had just passed mid day and was falling slowly. as i came to a turn i stopped and got out to look at the height and magnitude of the mountain. i stood at the base of the mountain and waited. as the dust settled, another light in the sky appeared behind the sun. a light that i knew exactly what it was. once again the style of my dreams happened the thought became reality. as i knew without a doubt the savior was coming. as jumped back in my truck i started to drive up the face of the mountain. i got as far as i could up the road. i jumped back out and sprinted, climbed, and crawled my way to the very tip so i could see over the edge. as i had only another few inches to go. i can't remember anymore. but once again i woke up in tears.
i had another one before that where i woke up in my room and looked out the window to find my whole family there. but i didn't see any ones face. just my mind telling me that it was my family. i could only recognize one person that was there. that person means the world to me. i hope for that wonderful feelings can become true. but still i woke up in tears
at the beginning of this month. i had a dream my grandfather was in a church building leading a sacrament meeting. once again i woke up in tears. i was lucky to bare my testimony about it though a few Sundays ago were i got real choked up.
but i had one earlier today. where i was talking to marines about doing the right things and the wrong things. i told them to forget about being "a good marine" and just be a good person. and as i finished stating these simple things, i started to get choked up. and i fell to the ground. my eyes closed slowly and the marines around me knew i was dieing and did nothing but say thanks for what i had done for them. and without pain i died. i know not what death is like but that really felt like death. i could feel life drain out. for other reasons i woke up with a smile. the time my life changed forever was the day i finished crying, for an entire week, because i was afraid to die. it was the beginning of my repentance. my change of heart. this happened 9 years ago around this time. i pray for and feel the spirit now. i love my savior Jesus Christ. i am grateful for his atoning sacrifice. i am blessed with gifts. i will try to not to ever let them lay and waste.

there is nothing in this world

as beautiful as a heart mind and soul. the combination of them are so genuine and pure. when they can take pain and suffering of life and express hope and human endurance. its more than magical in the motions, sounds and colors they can portray. in this world never ceases to amaze me on how blind i can be. and how i must awake from the things that capture those three things so easily. how i must do as nephi, “Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.”

i hope i can awake from this fake world and see what heavenly father asks of us all

wow

marry me please

Bonaroo 08'

we set up camp early thursday morning, this was our flag that hung and waved proudly over the camp. the doll of woody from toy story is mine.

the leader of the expedition was me, i over saw all expenses and planned my own good time.


the fiery furnaces came on and were most pleasant.

the even had card board crowd surfing



the swell season was well very swell.


msktrkrft spun some crazy beats, it got really crazy really fast




Abigail Washburn and the Sparrow Quartet were brilliant.

the art of such and such


the battles really were loud, fast, hard, and precise.






chan oh chan. you are beautiful



iron and wine was nothing short of amazing


sigur ros. well perfection is hard to explain


team zissuo bonnaroo 08. i got really tired and delirious i just wanted to shower and go to sleep


this guy was probably the funniest thing about the whole trip. i met him during willie nelson. and he was sending girls over to meet me. he was drunk as a skunk, his nickname is mr. bojangles.

wisdom of our fathers

with all the things this man was. and the love he showed for his family, his job, his country, and most importantly in his faith. he spread the these easy beliefs with everyone in his books. it gets me into emotions that strike every hope and wish in my soul. i just want to be a good husband and a good dad. every time i pray that is my whole purpose for everything.

finding nemo..........through christ

no animals were hurt injured or suffered enough to cause any pain in the taking of these pictures.

sigur ros gives me hope

there was alot to say about this, but first i'm going to the beach with the elders

funny

so small.

a river runs through it

to expand on what i said the other day

Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight,
Make me a child again just for tonight

fields-of-examples


The clouds that gather round the setting sun
Do take a sober colouring from an eye
That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears

whats with the issues


The clouds that gather round the setting sun
Do take a sober colouring from an eye
That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears


i don't know what it was about today, i was about to just break the whole time. stupid tears. could have been one of my families just had a baby and are moving away. even if my companion has disappeared from the face of the earth for a month. i'll do my best to see them before wednesday.somehow? either way they are just a great family the daughters are just funny and i still feel bad for the husband. its a guy thing to be trapped in a house with 4 woman. it'll be the start of a very crazy time if or when my wife gives birth to a girl. absolute craziness.

all in all i'm just out of it. i'm just exhausted and i'm fighting to keep awake. i just wish to leave these 5 years of isolation alone. so that the memories that lie ahead for me can begin. that i can hear gods words that are surrounded around me. under rocks, over the mountains, between the trees, through the rivers, and in the light of the sun.

BACKWARD, turn backward, O Time, in your flight,
Make me a child again just for to-night!
Mother, come back from the echoless shore,
Take me again to your heart as of yore;
Kiss from my forehead the furrows of care, 5
Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair;
Over my slumbers your loving watch keep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!

Backward, flow backward, O tide of the years!
I am so weary of toil and of tears,— 10
Toil without recompense, tears all in vain,—
Take them, and give me my childhood again!
I have grown weary of dust and decay,—
Weary of flinging my soul-wealth away;
Weary of sowing for others to reap;— 15
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!

Tired of the hollow, the base, the untrue,
Mother, O mother, my heart calls for you!
Many a summer the grass has grown green,
Blossomed and faded, our faces between: 20
Yet, with strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long I to-night for your presence again.
Come from the silence so long and so deep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!

Over my heart, in the days that are flown, 25
No love like mother-love ever has shone;
No other worship abides and endures,—
Faithful, unselfish, and patient like yours:
None like a mother can charm away pain
From the sick soul and the world-weary brain. 30
Slumber's soft calms o'er my heavy lids creep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!

Come, let your brown hair, just lighted with gold,
Fall on your shoulders again as of old;
Let it drop over my forehead to-night, 35
Shading my faint eyes away from the light;
For with its sunny-edged shadows once more
Haply will throng the sweet visions of yore;
Lovingly, softly, its bright billows sweep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep! 40

Mother, dear mother, the years have been long
Since I last listened your lullaby song:
Sing, then, and unto my soul it shall seem
Womanhood's years have been only a dream.
Clasped to your heart in a loving embrace, 45
With your light lashes just sweeping my face,
Never hereafter to wake or to weep;—
Rock me to sleep, mother,—rock me to sleep!


THERE was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
The earth, and every common sight,
To me did seem
Apparell'd in celestial light,
The glory and the freshness of a dream. 5
It is not now as it hath been of yore;—
Turn wheresoe'er I may,
By night or day,
The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

The rainbow comes and goes, 10
And lovely is the rose;
The moon doth with delight
Look round her when the heavens are bare;
Waters on a starry night
Are beautiful and fair; 15
The sunshine is a glorious birth;
But yet I know, where'er I go,
That there hath pass'd away a glory from the earth.

Now, while the birds thus sing a joyous song,
And while the young lambs bound 20
As to the tabor's sound,
To me alone there came a thought of grief:
A timely utterance gave that thought relief,
And I again am strong:
The cataracts blow their trumpets from the steep; 25
No more shall grief of mine the season wrong;
I hear the echoes through the mountains throng,
The winds come to me from the fields of sleep,
And all the earth is gay;
Land and sea 30
Give themselves up to jollity,
And with the heart of May
Doth every beast keep holiday;—
Thou Child of Joy,
Shout round me, let me hear thy shouts, thou happy 35
Shepherd-boy!

Ye blessèd creatures, I have heard the call
Ye to each other make; I see
The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee;
My heart is at your festival, 40
My head hath its coronal,
The fulness of your bliss, I feel—I feel it all.
O evil day! if I were sullen
While Earth herself is adorning,
This sweet May-morning, 45
And the children are culling
On every side,
In a thousand valleys far and wide,
Fresh flowers; while the sun shines warm,
And the babe leaps up on his mother's arm:— 50
I hear, I hear, with joy I hear!
—But there's a tree, of many, one,
A single field which I have look'd upon,
Both of them speak of something that is gone:
The pansy at my feet 55
Doth the same tale repeat:
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Where is it now, the glory and the dream?

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star, 60
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come 65
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
Shades of the prison-house begin to close
Upon the growing Boy,
But he beholds the light, and whence it flows, 70
He sees it in his joy;
The Youth, who daily farther from the east
Must travel, still is Nature's priest,
And by the vision splendid
Is on his way attended; 75
At length the Man perceives it die away,
And fade into the light of common day.

Earth fills her lap with pleasures of her own;
Yearnings she hath in her own natural kind,
And, even with something of a mother's mind, 80
And no unworthy aim,
The homely nurse doth all she can
To make her foster-child, her Inmate Man,
Forget the glories he hath known,
And that imperial palace whence he came. 85

Behold the Child among his new-born blisses,
A six years' darling of a pigmy size!
See, where 'mid work of his own hand he lies,
Fretted by sallies of his mother's kisses,
With light upon him from his father's eyes! 90
See, at his feet, some little plan or chart,
Some fragment from his dream of human life,
Shaped by himself with newly-learnèd art;
A wedding or a festival,
A mourning or a funeral; 95
And this hath now his heart,
And unto this he frames his song:
Then will he fit his tongue
To dialogues of business, love, or strife;
But it will not be long 100
Ere this be thrown aside,
And with new joy and pride
The little actor cons another part;
Filling from time to time his 'humorous stage'
With all the Persons, down to palsied Age, 105
That Life brings with her in her equipage;
As if his whole vocation
Were endless imitation.

Thou, whose exterior semblance doth belie
Thy soul's immensity; 110
Thou best philosopher, who yet dost keep
Thy heritage, thou eye among the blind,
That, deaf and silent, read'st the eternal deep,
Haunted for ever by the eternal mind,—
Mighty prophet! Seer blest! 115
On whom those truths do rest,
Which we are toiling all our lives to find,
In darkness lost, the darkness of the grave;
Thou, over whom thy Immortality
Broods like the Day, a master o'er a slave, 120
A presence which is not to be put by;
To whom the grave
Is but a lonely bed without the sense or sight
Of day or the warm light,
A place of thought where we in waiting lie; 125
Thou little Child, yet glorious in the might
Of heaven-born freedom on thy being's height,
Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke
The years to bring the inevitable yoke,
Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife? 130
Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight,
And custom lie upon thee with a weight,
Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life!

O joy! that in our embers
Is something that doth live, 135
That nature yet remembers
What was so fugitive!
The thought of our past years in me doth breed
Perpetual benediction: not indeed
For that which is most worthy to be blest— 140
Delight and liberty, the simple creed
Of childhood, whether busy or at rest,
With new-fledged hope still fluttering in his breast:—
Not for these I raise
The song of thanks and praise; 145
But for those obstinate questionings
Of sense and outward things,
Fallings from us, vanishings;
Blank misgivings of a Creature
Moving about in worlds not realized, 150
High instincts before which our mortal Nature
Did tremble like a guilty thing surprised:
But for those first affections,
Those shadowy recollections,
Which, be they what they may, 155
Are yet the fountain-light of all our day,
Are yet a master-light of all our seeing;
Uphold us, cherish, and have power to make
Our noisy years seem moments in the being
Of the eternal Silence: truths that wake, 160
To perish never:
Which neither listlessness, nor mad endeavour,
Nor Man nor Boy,
Nor all that is at enmity with joy,
Can utterly abolish or destroy! 165
Hence in a season of calm weather
Though inland far we be,
Our souls have sight of that immortal sea
Which brought us hither,
Can in a moment travel thither, 170
And see the children sport upon the shore,
And hear the mighty waters rolling evermore.

Then sing, ye birds, sing, sing a joyous song!
And let the young lambs bound
As to the tabor's sound! 175
We in thought will join your throng,
Ye that pipe and ye that play,
Ye that through your hearts to-day
Feel the gladness of the May!
What though the radiance which was once so bright 180
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind; 185
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death, 190
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

And O ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves,
Forebode not any severing of our loves!
Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might;
I only have relinquish'd one delight 195
To live beneath your more habitual sway.
I love the brooks which down their channels fret,
Even more than when I tripp'd lightly as they;
The innocent brightness of a new-born Day
Is lovely yet; 200
The clouds that gather round the setting sun
Do take a sober colouring from an eye
That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality;
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.
Thanks to the human heart by which we live, 205
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears

i'm exhausted! i'm gonna wake up now

i went to outback today, watched the Belmont stakes. and had some food with Rimmy and Ripley. we had this waitress who was more than friendly its one thing to be a flirtatious with a group of guys but this was a little over the top. but really how can a girl be over the top in todays modern world when it comes to using what she has to get money? Especially when she was directing all the flirting towards me. i don't think i'm an UGO nor do i think i'm gods gift to woman. when it comes to girls i'm very modest at first but once a conversation is started, its on and i can really get things going and be my natural funny self. pretty much happened today. and i took it with a grain of salt and didn't pay any attention to it. it all started with me thumbing through all the alcoholic drinks. and she sat down next to me and pointed out all the drinks she thought i'd like. and i just looked back at her and said "thanks water please." which lead to an ordeal of us making fun of each other blah blah blah. no big deal. so i go to Rips house and whatever i get home and look in my to go bag and find this. . .

its prolly just once in a life time thing, in no shape of the words ladys man or anything of that sort should my name come into play. actually its just lame for me. to sum up my feelings, after a small moment of being flattered, is depressed. i never get the one i want.

whats with the issues.

i've listened to alot a problems from several different people the past 3 days. i've heard complaints and mopes. i've had people yell and cry on my shoulder. i've held hands and almost come to knocking someone out. i've listened to someone and got no words in edge wise. i've heard good news and new beginings. but basically all i have to say is
"give your life to heavenly father and he shall grant you eternal life. humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

i don't ask for my own problems to be shared, for they are my own. i just wish for them to set.

its easier said than done

last night i got off work about 11:05. 5 minutes earlier than i ever have. i get a phone call as soon as i touched my phone from Angie. she's crying over her boyfriend that lives across the country. she asked me to come get her so we could talk. after i straightened up my room i went over and she tells me that they broke up. she was so confused and had no idea what to do with her life now that he was gone. she sat in my front seat begging me to know what the answer of that question was. i just told her verbatim the first article of faith. the first article of faith is we believe in god, the eternal father, and in his son, jesus christ, and in the holy ghost. we believe in these being with out a sure knowledge of them. just feelings and we base everything off faith. and when you truly love someone you will understand their needs and let them do what it is thats best for them. what she had to do was understand that her boyfriend is stuck, they are only 18 & 19 years old. and they have lot of growing to do. and for any relationship to work it has to do with faith in each other but more importantly faith in all these wonderful beings that are always there for us. faith in these heavenly beings is the same as having faith in a relationship with someone else. you have no idea what lies ahead. you must have faith that it will work out.

The reasons it won't work are more than I can count
A love that's doomed right from the start
This modern world just fills your head with fears and doubts
We'd end it now if we were smart

The only ones who make love last forever
Are fools that dream

If we all walk through this world scared to take a chance
Just imagine where we'd be
It's always dreamers that teach us how to dance
And I want you to dream with me

Cause the only ones who make love last forever
Are fools that dream
Yeah, the only ones who make this world any better
Are fools that dream




more on me when i get back from work.

its more than official

this kind sir is my ticket to 4 days of craziness

oh Chan i'll see you soon

so LETS DANCE?

view from the tacan

i get bored at work alot.

fields of examples

its just water, weeds, grass and trees. but to me i see many wonderful landscapes, i feel so many wonderful memories. and i'm with loved ones i never get to see. i enjoy fishing, but its more than what meets the eye. its something the men in my family shared with me. i don't understand why i take after the things that are good and others in my family don't take of the rich and wonderful examples that were left to us by our parents and grandparents. why none of them go to church now? or why i can see the examples that weigh heavily on all of us? and why we are who we are? thats why i'm here. and why i've followed a path that all seems to be predetermined. i know and have a strong testimony of what is the most important thing when having a family. the best way to learn is by having an example. if you truly want to be happy you are going to want to do and be near the things you enjoyed when you were a kid. in some shape and form. that is a Gods honest truth. your going to want to be close to the examples that were left for you by the loved ones that raised you. knowing that what i've done to follow the examples i've had and seen the miracles and wonderful blessing in my life come to pass. i know i'll have some day and wonderful family. being and example will be made simple like just like a picture of grass, weeds, water, and trees.
this is why i watch football. and why i find college football to be authentic, genuine, and passionate

Humbling

drop the top and let the sunshine in

i road out wit rimmy today. got some new kicks andsa new ghetto shot camera todays, poured up some suga water and mayonnaise sandwhich!



Trick Luv Da Kids