Realizations

Like so often since i've been home, i was woken up by my dog jumping on my bed. I'm not so sure what has come over me though. I have this really creepy feeling about myself. Its very close to a fearful feeling, but i guess more of an uncertainty. Maybe I'm not so old but for some strange reason i feel ancient. Its hard to imagine myself leaving for 2 years... what will happen while i'm gone? i don't know what it is that is making me feel this way. I'm positive nothing at home will change at all. Possibly someone in my family may pass away but that isn't really entering my mind. I do feel like i'll miss out on something. Maybe its cause its early in the morning and its accompanied by that lonely feeling. Or it could be something very different