crazy forever

when i left the marines about 4 weeks ago. they gave me the Mameluke sword. i sword given to officers staff non commission and non commission officers in the marines. they had a regular going away. except the younger marines and myself played football in the rain. but before that and after we ate and presented me with the sword, they asked for a speech. the guy above stated how he had seen many people get out of the marines. but no one had a plan to keep serving like me. he was someone, i didn't expect, who wanted me to give the speech. it was rather easy for me to do though. i simply gave my testimony of service. paraphrasing i simply stated

"serving for others in the marines is thankless in many ways. even if i and most of the marines in SC are stuck with the job we have, we are all giving are time. when other give more, we give what isn't asked, but is needed. what you give is time, precious time when you could be with your families across the United States. its thankless cause its taken for granted by so many now a days. you volunteer to be put on a wall to watch over others, but the wall isn't seen by the ones you protect, so its thankless. so cherish the moments you have with the people you love. cherish them every time you see them cause in our business it is that more special. watch over each other and watch over yourself. with all of that said the greatest thing you can do in this life is die for your friends and love ones. the next is give time, give in charity. if you can keep that in your mind you can be a good marine. hell, you'll be a good person."






with all the good feelings and hopeful thoughts i gave. this Asian guy goes to jail for beating his wife a week later. SAD AND IRONIC

i'm back home now.
i haven't had so much time to myself with no cares in mind in the longest time. probably 5 years. there is my old friends, they were a ton to handle. but it was never boring. the past few days i've been working with my uncle and my dad. mostly carpenter work and remodeling a huge garage to store alot of crap that my uncle owns. i've come to the conclusion that i have to be able to work outside with my hands for a career. i want to come home dirty and it shows that i worked hard. i guess i want to be challenged.
other than that my life as of now is boring. i've become Mr. Mom and have cleaned my room and reorganized it to fit my needs, cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms several times, and now the living room. i've fixed a light socket, a garage door, a ceiling fan, reinstalled a the surround system, ran new cable wire through the walls, and a few more things. now i need to find a job. i have a few idea i should be working hopefully by Dec. 1.

i'm so lonely though. its been so hard living at home. i feel left out. i miss having people around. my family is so secluded in what they do. my mom is so deluded in her ways. so is my dad. my brother is off in his own world all day. then my mom always has the nerve to yell at me for something. which is retarded.
i guess i need friends here. the hardest part is having feelings for someone you never get to see. you never get to talk too.