sociopathic and lovely

i will be trying my best to leave this isolated world. to where i don't know. i am really getting depressed. on sunday i thought that my life was changing. the entire week i really prepared for a talk. i fasted, i prayed, and studied. I discovered myself really appreciating the gospel. i hadn't quite felt the spirit so strongly since i left Utah.
i mean i think about you. i also think about you too and all of you. i hope to understand why i trick myself into thinking that everything is fine, but when i face the facts, it all seems impossible.

i feel horrible, i'm sick of being tempted by people that "love me"
for the past 3 months, some of the most rotten things have been done by the people that have said that to me.

if anything i just wish i was appreciated a little more. but i guess my feelings for you don't count, i guess the things i do for you dont either, im sure you are more important.