my stupid life

and how exciting the littlest glimmer of hope can be. wow i love how my parents almost despise me. my mom reminds me daily how dumb it is that im leaving for 2 years. my dad just simply doesn't like me for being so religious. i think? i don't know those are strong words but they can careless about what i want. The hardest thing about being home is that I am paying the mortgage. the money that i saved for my family goes to my family, but not in the way i wanted it too. now i have to sell my truck to pay for my mission.
Its been hard to deal with it, not so much them but not having any excitement for what i want to do. something that is going to be really happy for me. no one seems to be excited. maybe that will come with my call. yesterday was ward council so i was set to get all the things fixed with my papers. i talked shortly again with the stake president. everything is ready to be sent to him as of yesterday. i should see him in the next few days. and things will be done.
still after all this waiting, i have been doing very well. i haven't been very upset by it all. one or two days of the whole ordeal i have to admit i was very discouraged. i hate the idea of being old and falling behind the age curve. but then i keep thinking to myself i don't look 24. Age makes little difference in the long run. Every day no matter if i'm brushed off, called a retard, or discouraged I am reminded of the importance of it all.
just like today i was fed up with how i am constantly treated by everyone in my house. i get an email from my grandfather, of an audio track from some glen beck show, with Ezra Taft Benson speaking. Some how my grandfather the guy the most inspired me to become a member of the church, even though he is not a member, consistently finds ways to recognize the spirit in his life. its important to do what is right no matter what situation you are in. the stake president apologized for how things were going. he said something that is very true, the church organization isn't ran perfectly, but there are wonderful things happening from the imperfections. its as if heavenly father fixes it with many blessings. its very true